Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What a dumb baby whore.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
