it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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