I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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