We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
