Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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