I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
