omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
