Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize