It's Friday. Sex?
well you can't waste a boner
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
