Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
