Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
