stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
