what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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