So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize