Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
