party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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