dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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