sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
