The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
barbara walters just said penis...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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