Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
