He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
