Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
