And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
