okay pat passed out under dana's car
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
