Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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