I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
