There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
