I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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