Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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