Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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