can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
