The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
