I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
