Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
