Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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