Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
