I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
