Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
