Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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