Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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