did you get engaged???
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
