It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
