You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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