One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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