so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My vagina is very pro this idea
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize