Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
