at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
