Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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