Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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