If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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