it wasn't lemon gatorade
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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