I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
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Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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