the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
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