he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize