You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
