So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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