wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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