He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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