I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize