I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
